Motherhood does not define me, I define it.

I’ve been a mother for only a month shy of 2 years now. I’m not an expert or even all that experienced on motherhood. But, I am most definitely a member of the club and I learn what it means to be a mother more each day. Even though I lack much life experience, I can say that the confidence I have in myself to be a great mom has skyrocketed since the day I brought Mia home, and that grows more each day as well.

When I think about what it means to be a mother and how to define it, I don’t even know where to start. It’s a word with such a broad interpretation, and that I’m sure has hundreds of different definitions. There’s definitely a universal understanding to what motherhood is all about but the specifics of it are particular and personal to each and every mother, making it nearly impossible to pinpoint a single meaning.

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Motherhood can only be defined from the heart where it is felt, experienced and enjoyed. It’s unique to each woman who wears its crown. A mother has countless characteristics and qualities that not only separate her from the next mother, but also relate the two of them together. Our own definition of motherhood is based off of our own individual experiences and comes from a very personal level. It’s pretty cool to be apart of such a hugely shared experience that is so unique and so similar at the same time.

My own definition of motherhood is just starting to form and is constantly changing, evolving and strengthening. It’s important to me to determine my own meaning of motherhood and what kind of mother I want to be so that I can better exemplify it through my words and actions. Why is this important? Being a mother carries with it so much responsibility. My daughter is watching, listening and absorbing all I do, and will do so for years to come. As if us mothers didn’t already feel enough pressure, right?

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How I represent motherhood will resonate in my daughter when the day comes where she is a mother, too. I’m modeling one of, if not the, most important roles there is. The example I lead will, in so many ways, carry on into my future grandchildren and their children as well. I’m continuing the work of my mother, her mother, her grandmother and so on. Of course, with each new generation comes new patterns, teachings, lessons, and understandings. But, the solid groundwork that was laid down before me and that I am laying down for Mia will hang on tight for the ride for decades to come. I may not be passing down my last name to my children, but I’m passing down something so priceless, important and lasting that will reach many new family names that I won’t live long enough to know or see. That’s pretty powerful.

The role of a mother isn’t one to be taken lightly, as your family and their future depends on how you establish it. It’s also one that shouldn’t be taken too seriously, as it’s very easy to get caught up with worry, competition and expectations that will only distract you from what’s most important: the needs, happiness and well being of your family.

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I can only figure out what motherhood means to me, and will dig deep to uncover the kind of mother I want to be. I am confident in the fact that staying true to my goals, morals and principals will make a lasting impression on my kids and their future as parents. I don’t think motherhood can or should be defined for anyone. It’s something each mother has to define for herself. It’s not anything that defines me, rather, I define it.


“Defined” is the March writing prompt of The Mommy Blogger Collective. In addition to a monthly writing prompt, the collective hosts a monthly blogger featurette. This month we are featuring Gillian of Comes in Colours. A few words from Gillian — Hey, I’m Gillian and I blog at Comes in Colours! I am passionate about motherhood and passionate about photography. I am married to my middle school sweetheart and we are now raising our two boys, Roman and Asher, in northern Colorado. My life is real and far from perfect but my blog is a place where I celebrate motherhood through pictures and words. Connect with Gillian on Instagram, Pinterest, Bloglovin and pop by her blog to say hello.

/// The Mommy Blogger Collective /// Christina, Courteney, Dena, Erica, Erin, Gillian, Katie, Misty, Nicole, and Renée. ///

Comments

  1. I love your point about how we as mothers define motherhood for ourselves! There is no one size fits all when it comes down to it, and that’s something I have to strive to remember as my kiddos get older and I wonder if I’m “doing it right.” I’m going with my gut, my heart, and my intuition!

    • Thank you for your comment, Erin. There is no “doing it right” but there is such a thing as “doing what’s right for you.” A mother’s gut, heart and intuition are her best friends :)

  2. Hi Misty. I saw you comment over on Ashley’s blog and I read this first post. I love your positive attitude about motherhood not defining you. That is something I have been struggling with since the birth of my now 19 month old daughter. You had a great outlook about your role as a mother, keep up the good work!
    P.S. I love the idea of the Collective you are a part of. I’m sure it mixes it up and gives you many great ideas-as well as introduces you to new bloggers. Nice idea.

    • Well hey there, newest reader Jordan! Thanks so much for stopping by for a bit and introducing yourself. I feel you on your struggle, that’s for sure. I have felt that it’s been getting easier with each month, though. Definitely a good thing. And, I’m very glad to be a part of the blogger collective. This was our first writing prompt to post on. Hope ya come back for more next month (well, sooner than that if I’m being honest) ;)

  3. What a beautiful post, Misty. That picture of Mia crying — oh my goodness. It’s a gorgeous shot (technically speaking) but it makes me want to cry, too! I don’t think I’ve ever seen her without a smile. It’s the perfect photo for the post though — that’s what motherhood is, beautiful and sometimes heartbreaking too, right? Thank you for sharing this. <3 Big hugs.

    • Thank you, Dena. I happened to to have my camera in hand when she began whining about who knows what. Had to snap it. Man, this kid can whine and cry and yell. She’s great most of the day, on most days. But she’s a big fat stinker, too. You’re right on with your comment on motherhood. So true. I appreciate your comment, as always :)

  4. You make such a great point that we each define motherhood for ourselves, I love that! Also, I am in love with that first photo of your daughter – perfect!

    • Thanks for the comment, Gillian. Mia spends a lot of her time laying on the hardwood floors. It’s like she just discovered the ceiling or something :)

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